90210: My New (Old?) Obsession

Oh 90210. You are more fickle than a nineteen year old boy - and you know that type of guy you go after when you're nineteen and in college. Bah. Anywho, where was I? Right, 90210. Shame on you! After giving me a childhood of juicy, drama-filled, unplanned pregnancy, drug taking, mugging and cheating childhood television (no wonder I ended up how I did), you fill my veins with happiness when at age twenty-two you are to come back on the air (with Aunt Becky as a mother! Full House and 90210! All wrapped in one! PERFECTION! This really does complete my childhood with my Spice Girls concert last January and New Kids on the Block next weekend). Then I watch your first two episodes (or, okay, episode and a half, it was that bad) and wanted to cry.

Cry more than Naomi did when she found her father having an affair.

Cry more than when Silver makes fun of Annie on her blog.

Cry more than tonight when Annie...

WAIT AN EFFING SECOND. The previews made it look like homegirl was going to get taken advantage of. Instead she was just crying because some jerkoff sixteen year old girl manipulated the guy she likes. Boo freaking hoo. Sick but true, I tuned in tonight for the pure reason that I thought there was going to be some sort of sexual contact - a la REAL 90210 fashion. Remember when Donna was going to lose it? It was the biggest storyline of the 90s! I feel cheated by the writers tonight!

Instead, no sex, but a really good episode. Eff. How dare you give me a good episode and not what I was expecting! DAMNIT. There goes my social life on Tuesday nights. I've gotten sucked in by the CW. Is there a therapy group for trashy television addictions?

-M