The Best Years Of Our Lives

(photo courtesy of mtv.com)

No lie. I think I can vouch for P and I when I say that we are nostalgic for our college years. Afterall, it's when we met. We could cut class, watch Vh1 marathons of America's Next Top Model, order from our favorite Wings restaurant, and go out for drinks whenever we want (regardless of what night it was). Our schedules could be based around our needs - meaning sleep. No classes before 11am were always preferable. I mastered the ability to have four day weekends. We wrote papers in the library and made it fun. We only had to pay for the bare necessities (meaning food, clothing and various drinks - and of course by that I mean every flavor of Vitaminwater possible). Speaking of which, is it just me or are college campuses the guinea pigs for new flavors? I swear I bought the "Formula 50" flavor before it was approved by any FDA regulation.

But I digress...

Now that P and I are working women, joining the ranks of young professionals (for nearly a year now!), we have little time for such relaxation that college gave us. Sure, we don't miss the all-nighters, research papers and final exams (damn those bubble sheets!). But we do miss the former priorities. Dating. TV watching. Going to the occasional party.

Thanks to MTV, we can vicariously live this life again. College Life premiered last night - conveniently after The Hills. I am convinced that my life freshman (or sophomore, junior and senior year) would give more of a storyline (cheating boyfriends! breakups! roommates! trying to overcome dining hall food!), MTV has done well. By giving four college freshmen handheld cameras, we meet Jordan, Alex, Andrea and Kevin. Somehow I can relate a little bit to each one. Jordan deals with his racial identity on his college campus. Alex struggles with commitment issues. Andrea juggles an ex-boyfriend and Kevin parties too hard.

Come to think of it, maybe we shouldn't miss college as much as we do.

-M

Sidenote: Did anyone else catch Kevin's friend wearing a UMass Lacrosse t-shirt? Is there a UMass connection to College Life? If so, this is even more amazing. Info needed from anyone who has it!

Reality TV: My New BFF.

(photo courtesy of: http://www.courttv360.com)

A minor (okay, major) announcement. Myself, and my two prep school best friends - A and K (I'm sure you recognize their acronyms) have been casted for an in-production reality show that we auditioned for. While I'm not at liberty to give out details (no, I haven't signed anything, but don't feel like spilling everything so soon!), I dedicate this post to my love for reality television -- and a few rules... commandments, so to say -- that I (and A and K!) vow to live by with cameras in our faces in the not-so-distant future.

#1: Thou shall keep all clothing on. The first thing my father told me upon receiving the good news yesterday via phone. He said he was proud of me and the girls, excited for us, but then made me promise to 'not get naked.' I promise Daddy. I'm not 18 anymore - I'm 23. I do not get drunk and naked - I'm a smart cookie, I know I still need a job upon returning home.

#2: Thou shall not aim for stardom. There's nothing more annoying on television than that girl (or guy) who is just so obviously pining for the next star on the Hollywood walk of fame. Although it is so difficult to not envision the beautiful faces of my best friends on the cover of US Weekly with me. Would we wear our hair up or down? Should I wear Seven for all Mankinds or Rock and Republics? Black nail polish or apple red? Oh dear - see how easy it is to get caught up in these thoughts? My thoughts break this commandment at least 100 times a day.

#3: Thou shall stick together with my besties at all times. A and I talked about this on the phone last night. We need to stick together through this show, no matter what. If we all go out for a night to a bar - we stay together. We do not stray. We do not let sketchy men hit on us on camera (which is inevitable). We say, 'Oh. Sorry! This is kind of a girls only night out.' Last resort, A becomes my lesbian girlfriend and we drive guys away -- or to us. Maybe that plan won't work...

#4: Thou shall not give into random people suddenly wanting to talk to us. We're waiting for it, and it's already started. Exes calling us upon hearing the news through the grapevine. People we really don't like suddenly inviting us out for drinks and dinner. Yeah, right, we see right through your act. Don't even try - although we might not be able to pass up a free martini or two.

#5: Thou shall not glorify those in our past that we despise. Will we share past experiences regarding people that we don't necessarily like? Yes. Will we glorify them in a way that somehow would make them happy about the attention? No. It's a fine line girls that will not be crossed.

And, of course, all typical rules go into effect. No cheating on boyfriends. No excessive drinking (I don't even know what would appear on television if they fed me one too many sangrias). No smoking. No talking about past 'experiences' -- and those who know me know what I mean. With all of this in mind, yes, we're excited - and ready to hold on really tight for maybe the most crazy thing we've ever done in our lives.

-M

"I'm an actor. I got into this business so I didn't have to work."

Okay, okay. I choose, many times, to overlook and not publicly declare my love for the HBO show that is Entourage. Why? Because it's a blatant guy show. And I don't mean that in the best of terms. I mean it's what Sex and the City was and is to women. Us girls get Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha. The guys get Vince, Ari Gold, Turtle, Drama and E. However, after watching the season 5 finale on demand last night after work, I am compelled to write, without hesitation, my complete fixation and love for this show (and Ari Gold). However, there are a few points that need to be pointed out and/or fixed. HBO execs, take out your leather bound notepads now.

1.) Why are the episodes, at most, 24 or so minutes long? How can you tell a sufficient story in 24 minutes? Although it pulls it off well, at the end of every episode, I'm left with this, "oh, that's it?" feeling. That's not the best feeling to have. It's a feeling that one would get after only being able to eat half of a cupcake, and not all of it. The cake but no frosting. And while we're on this, it's not just the episodes that are short, but how is the season finale already over and done with? What am I supposed to do on Sunday nights now? Come on! Fulfill my need, please?

2.) Please tell me other people heard that this Turtle/Jamie Lynn Siegler storyline isn't a complete joke. Page Six saw them (in real life! in the flesh!) making out at some club. Awkward. I feel awfully sketchy about real life playing out plot lines.

3.) Oh Ari Gold. You are my dream man. You have almost all of the typical traits that I look for in a man. You're a complete dbag. You're Jewish. And you're arrogant. And you have good style. Swoon.

For you guys that haven't watched season 5 yet (or any for that matter) - shame on you. Seasons on DVD tend to be on sale at Best Buy frequently. Pick them up for $20 or $25 a pop and enjoy.

-M

Are we hypocritical prudes?

This past weekend, I was graced with the presence of a quasi-sick boyfriend and a Degrassi: The Next Generation on MTV. Now, I've never quite got into Degrassi - the N was always too high up in the cable channels and I always found something else to watch before flipping to channel 246 or whatever it is. Regardless, on a lazy Sunday morning, I figured I'd give it a shot.

To my surprise, I found in the first 10 minutes of the first episode that I watched -- the girl that plays Annie in 90210, drug use, nudie photos (of a minor!) posted online, internet cyberstalking, sex, a high school dropout boyfriend that just got released from jail, drinking tequila at a birthday party -- oh and whoever "Mascot Boy" is -- he got shanked while trying to open his car door (at the tequila filled birthday party) and died.

All of these storylines sound oddly (or not so oddly) as inticing, and oh so scandalous as its' American teenage drama cousins, Gossip Girl or 90210. Only Degrassi shows everyday high schoolers (who don't live in hotels, attend private school or drive around in limos), struggling with these issues that mainstream America cries scandal over. It shows real kids with real issues - and that is probably why it lasts 7+ seasons. It's probably why Degrassi isn't a show, it's a freakin' franchise -- multiple tv series, books, internet specials. On it's Wikipedia page, I see little to no discussion of parent complaint - which leads me to think of every teenage show that family groups here in the US cry foul on. Dawson's Creek. Felicity. Gossip Girl. For the love of bejezzus, why are Americans on such high and mighty moral ground when it comes to teen shows? Why boohoo over sex in high schools and not see the connection to advertising campaigns like this that go without blame?

Is it Canada's European influence that causes the approval (or at least, understanding) of such teenage shows? Are issues openly discussed via dinnertable discussions with Mom and Dad? Do they walk by Abercrombie and Fitch billboards of mens' sock-stuffed crotches and have the same reaction as us? Moreso, how is it alright for us in the US to have this out of sight, out of mind thought with all of these issues? Just because parents complain about Serena Van Der Woodsen drinking a Belevedere vodka martini on an awkward double date with her ex doesn't mean that doesn't happen, or cease it from happening. Somehow I think the Canadians might be right about something other than universal health care.

-M

90210: My New (Old?) Obsession

Oh 90210. You are more fickle than a nineteen year old boy - and you know that type of guy you go after when you're nineteen and in college. Bah. Anywho, where was I? Right, 90210. Shame on you! After giving me a childhood of juicy, drama-filled, unplanned pregnancy, drug taking, mugging and cheating childhood television (no wonder I ended up how I did), you fill my veins with happiness when at age twenty-two you are to come back on the air (with Aunt Becky as a mother! Full House and 90210! All wrapped in one! PERFECTION! This really does complete my childhood with my Spice Girls concert last January and New Kids on the Block next weekend). Then I watch your first two episodes (or, okay, episode and a half, it was that bad) and wanted to cry.

Cry more than Naomi did when she found her father having an affair.

Cry more than when Silver makes fun of Annie on her blog.

Cry more than tonight when Annie...

WAIT AN EFFING SECOND. The previews made it look like homegirl was going to get taken advantage of. Instead she was just crying because some jerkoff sixteen year old girl manipulated the guy she likes. Boo freaking hoo. Sick but true, I tuned in tonight for the pure reason that I thought there was going to be some sort of sexual contact - a la REAL 90210 fashion. Remember when Donna was going to lose it? It was the biggest storyline of the 90s! I feel cheated by the writers tonight!

Instead, no sex, but a really good episode. Eff. How dare you give me a good episode and not what I was expecting! DAMNIT. There goes my social life on Tuesday nights. I've gotten sucked in by the CW. Is there a therapy group for trashy television addictions?

-M

Monday's TV Preview

It's Monday. Which means one thing. My predictions/what previews have given away to me about tonight's Gossip Girl. Thankfully maybe those advertising people at the CW have taken my hint -- only 4 minutes worth of previews are around for tonight's episode. Even still, I feel as though some vital information has been leaked that I could do without knowing before watching.

S and Lonely Boy are dunzo. Which means, in true teen drama show spirit, there's a competition to see who would date first. I wish me and my exes played this game, because I'd always win... seeing that normally there was overlap with boyfriends, which means if this game was an Olympic sport, I'd be on a frickin Wheaties box (take that Michael Phelps).

The apple of Lonely Boy's newly single eye? New girl. Amanda -- who I'll only call A. Which is slightly wrong, seeing that A comes before B and this girl is no Blair. Is it just me, or does she have braces in this preview? What is she? Twelve? She's a walking joke among the Constance Billard (think, Dalton School) campus, and with those frumpy clothes, she could use a makeover a la Tai in Clueless pronto. Downgrade, Lonely Boy. You're like Ryan Phillipe post-Reese Witherspoon. Tsk tsk. The apple of S's eye? Word is that she's having lunch with hockey boys. Another thing S and I have in common (aside from our amazing sense of fashion and love for studded tops).

Vanessa (aka Punky Brewster) stops taking Nate's calls. He whines, which is awfully unattractive for a gigelo. Little J gets ignored by B's minority army in the hallways -- why does the Asian girl never get to talk? I take offense to this. If anything, I would know that trendy Asian girls are so not the silent type.

4 minutes sure gives a lot away (and a lot to talk about). Good improvement Gossip Girl preview makers, but keep trying.

-M